Shane’s blog

 What’s the first thing you do when you log on to your computer every day?

Sponsored by Yahoo!

Check my yahoo mail actually. Then it's off to aohell and hotmail. I'm on a few yahoo groups so they get preference. Vox is like 5th on the list of stuff to do in the AM after signing in. Lolcats http://icanhascheezburger.com/ is always just after mail. Gotta see the funny pics. They start the day off with a chuckle or belly laugh. I have 9 cats so this site is a riot to me.

What’s the perfect gift to give to the person who has everything?
Sponsored by Best Buy. Find holiday gifts for everyone on your list.

"More of everything." Screw that! If they got everything then they should start passin out presents. I know I could use a new pair of all leather, no man-made material shoes in a size 12 EEE. I can't stand ppl that have everything. Most of them complain about what they "really want." BULLSHIT!!

Are you prepared in case of a natural disaster? What do your plan and preparations include?

It really depends on the disaster. Earthquake: sit under my kitchen table till shit quits fallin on it. Flood: grab the rafts in the back yard and make for the highway. Fire: grab the hotdogs and marshellows and get a real party goin. Volcanic Eruption: sit my ass in my bedroom and wait to see if it really makes it this far. I live in the midwest folks, no volcanoes. Landslide: grab a boogieboard and ride the wave to the bottom of the hill. Tornado: get my happy ass ready to go to Oz or Kansas, whichever drags me to it first. Hurricane: get freakin wet because those damn things always leave us rain up here. Tsunami: grab the boogieboard and see how good the curls are. Can't think of any other natural disasters.

I made a huge mistake after my wife died. (WARNING: personal Info) I wasn't even thinking about sex of any kind after my wife died because grief does that sort of thing to you. I met a gall online in a chat room on aohell. She was fantastic. She was beautiful, talented, smart (debatable), and she had enough money to come see me from all the way out in CA. She was leaving her husband of 7 yrs because he was getting to be a worse freak than when she married him. I had little in the way of a conscience so I didn't care. As long as she gave me the attention that I was craving at the time I was gonna be happy. She set up to come see me for 2 weeks. I was thrilled. What was neglected was a warning of HPV. Genital warts are a bain on society. It is probably the most common of all STD's. It's very wide spread around the country. She came and we had fantastic sex constantly during those 2 weeks. She went back to CA and we ended up going our seperate ways. A few months later I started seeing things growing in the bend of my groin. It wasn't a big deal I thought as I was already develpoing skin tags so I figured it was just more of those that were sent to annoy me. Ten months later I had a small cluster of the "tags" that were starting to chafe me and worry me. I went to the dr and he gave me the worst news imaginable. "You have an STD called HPV. It presents with genital warts." I was totally freaked out. I nearly cried. After all my years of staying clean, a few cases of crabs was about all, I was finally regreting my promiscuity. I had 2 other girlfriends after my encounter with CA woman. I couldn't get ahold of 1 of them but I warned the other and she was pissed, understandably. Altho she did ask me if there was any chance that we could get back together. I'm just the kind of guy most women want to be with. That's not pride or immodesty, it's just fact. I told my Debbie about my problem but she said it wasn't going to be a very big deal because we were going to be together for the rest of our lives. She isn't suseptible to warts of any kind. She's never had 1 and probably never will get 1. We've been together for 8 years in February of 2010 and she hasn't develpoed any. I, on the other hand, have had outbreaks regularly constantly. They are annoying at first and that's a pita but it gets worse. They attract moisture like a sponge and then chafe to the point of bleeding. There is really no treatment other than a cream that you can put on to lessen them or having them burned off with liquid nitrogen. I chose the latter. Sounds crazy to have a dr burn anything off from your crotch but it was the most expedient. I went on Monday to see my dermetologist and have the procedure done. I'm now unable to walk for more than a few steps without great pain in that area. Nothing eases the pain either. There is really no powder or cream you can put on this that will help. Anelgesic creams work for a very short time so it really isn't worth the money to buy them. So here my friends I give you warning. BE VERY FUCKING CAREFUL! Do not get this terrible thing if at all possible. It is nearly the most terrible physical experience I've ever been thru. If I ever have regreted anything in my life it would be having sex with a woman that has HPV. Condoms can make a little difference but actually not much. This insideous virus can get around them and spermacides don't help at all. So now my friends consider yourself warned.

How old do you think children should be before they join social networks like Facebook and MySpace?

50! No, I'm kidding. I think it's not a real good idea for younger, 12-15, to get on these sites. They have too much opportunity for pervs and such to get ahold of them thru these sites. Face it, kids that age are usually disgruntled about their parents and anybody that gives them positive feedback or attention will win them over. Plus at that age they think doing stupid shit like e-mailing pics of private body parts is kewl. My daughter did it. I thumped her head. Call me wat you will but I aint havin my kids tits all over the internet.

Ok, so I haven't posted in a while but I'm suffering a severe bitchiness today. Get ready cause here it comes.

I took in my daughter's fiance because I'm an idiot. The lil so n so is the nuttiest lil bastard on the planet. (subjectively) He's severely bipolar but thinks he can get by with no meds and can just fly off the handle any time he wants with no repercussions. There's consequenses for EVERYTHING we do. I've nearly slapped his nasty ass a few times just because I'm like that. I don't like ppl yelling at my kids unless they have good reason. He NEVER has had a good reason yet. So that added 1 more to my household.

I took in my friends son because he wanted to stay in the school he's been in his whole life. He can be an inconsiderate ass most of the time and he's just being a teenager. My friend is in KY dying from cancer and a few other ailments. I don't know what to do about that but I'm about to beat this kids ass because he seems to think that his dad dying is an excuse to lose control of his faculties and act like a total ass. Sorry but my dad died when I was 14 and I didn't act like an ass. I isolated myself and drank like a fish and did every drug that I could but I stayed away from ppl. It was my problem to deal with and I didn't think anybody could help. I'm here for his dumb ass and I've made that totally clear to him. He's not isolating, he's stupiding himself up. Damn this is not fun.

I'm the kind of person that will take in stray aminals. I'm also the kind of person that can't watch somebody be homeless if I can help it. I have a young man sleeping on my couch that has got to be one of the laziest kids I've ever seen. He bumms smokes off of me all the time, like I got money to support his habbit. He can't find a job because he spends all day on my son's video games systems. I've thrown him out to find a job on many occastions and he always fills out aps but nobody ever calls. I think he's sabataging himself on purpose. He also owes me $100 for a trip he took to KC last summer. I feel like a complete fool for all the shit I've done for this kid.

My daughter's fiance came to Deb and me to try and help his parents out of a tight spot. They were being evicted from their house in CO and needed a place to go. My stupid ass gave in to my daughter, who begged, and paid for their silly asses to come here. I've been paying for that giant mistake ever since. I really didn't want to take a 49 and 50 yr old to raise. These ppl are the epitomy of stupidity. He's a nice enough guy but he actually listens to his lying nut of a wife. She has no idea how to cook without using the worst kind of grease you can find and has clogged my drainpipes a couple of times. I thought it was just common sense to run hot water down the drain when pouring in shortening. FUCK this bitch is dence. She lies to her hubby and kids all the time trying to get them on her side whenever anybody tells her she's wrong or just plain stupid. They had to go back to CO because he had court dates and a driving class to take care of or he would be arrested. I had no problem with this.In fact I was thrilled. They even paid for their own tickets to fly out there. Don't ask where they got the money because they wont say. I have a sneaking suspicion it involves my daughter's job and paycheck somehow. Now they begged us to pay for the classes and gas to get there to take them. I'm by NO means a welloff person but my Deb can't seem to tell my daughter NO. So we pay for the classes and gas. Now they're about done with all the crazy shit they have top do up there and have return tickets to come back here on. They bought 2 way tickets but have had to postpone so many times that it's gonna cost another $150 per person to come back. After begging my daughter to help, they have her paying the money to get them back here. She put it on some kind of walmart thing so they could buy the tickets and sent them the money. BIG FUCKIN MISTAKE!!!! They bought his ticket and then spent most of the rest on smokes and gas to run around up there. Now guess who gets to make up the fuckin difference. Bet you coulda seen this comin, I did. They called the fiance and told him that they needed more to finish gettin back here so he goes online and sees that the money was spent. His mom tells him she has no idea how that happened so now his dumbass thinks that there's somebody else out there with his number spending my daughter's money on gas and smokes. Another lie. This fuckin bitch is really gettin on my last nerve. The fiance flies off the handle and swears he's gonna find out who has the number and sue them for what they spent. Yea right! Now my daughter beggs again for us to bail these lazy fuckin ppl out of the mess they've gotten themselves into. Again my Deb tells me we have to. Again I'm paying to raise a 49 & 50 yr old pair of lieing dumbasses. Do I sound happy yet? My vote is to leave their dumbasses there so they can find out what houselessness is all about. They've sponged off of me and my daughter about all I'm willing to let them. FUCK THIS BULLSHIT!!!!!! Let em rot. Now I don't even have the money to pay half of my bills because they "needed help". For a plug nickle I'd beat the piss outa all of them, my daughter included. The only reason she's even still with this asshole is because she's a fat girl and thinks nobody else wants her accept the black guys around here. You see a fat girl in our town without a black guy you know there's 1 at home somewhere. 90% of the fat girls around here are either married to or dating black guys but my daughter doesn't want anything to do with them, thankfully. Not because I'm a biggot but because the majority of them around here are classic stereotypical NIGGERS. There's a difference between blacks and niggers. Niggers can come in all colors of the rainbow. Like I said, I'm not a biggot. We do have a lot of inbreeding in our town too and you'll find niggers of all colors all over here.

All this shit is driving me nuts. When the idiots are here I have 9 ppl living in my trailer. That's WAY too fuckin many. Deb wunders why I live in the bedroom? Fuck dealing with all these assholes. My depression is tenfold from where it's supposed to be and I lose my temper at the drop of a lie. NO, this little rant is not really making me feel any better because I still have NO idea how I'm gonna pay my bills this mnth. I'm even tempted to start selling my meds to try and make up for everything. I wont because I NEED them but it's tempting. I wont talk about the violence I've dreamed about doing to all these ppl but there has been PLENTY of it. I think I'll go now before I fuckin explode.

What's the worst vacation you've ever taken?

Who goes on vacation? Shit, who can afford it? I've never been on a real vacation unless you count my time in the hospitals. I don't know that those were vacations as such but they got me away from everything for a while. Good times were had but it sucked being away from my family while I was locked up.

I got this facebook account because my sister asked me to. I'm a sucker for just about any woman, they call me well trained. I signed up and there were a butt load of ppl on there that had been looking for me. Mostly from high school. I've been wracking my brain for months now trying to remember these ppl. I catch faint glimpses of a few of them, some flattering some not. The majority of them are a total mistery. I got a myspace a long time ago and went to look for ppl I knew. Guess what, nadda. I remembered 3 names from high school and 2 from elementary. Of the 3 from high school, 2 I had met at a party at my brother's house a few weeks before. The last was a friend that I introduced to his ex-wife. I couldn't even remember the name of my first real girlfriend. I got it now but only because 1 of the guys from myspace reminded me who she was. After I got the facebook thing I started getting hits from ppl I didn't know. I'm not the kind of guy to just fill a friends list so I was very hesitent to add any of these ppl. Then I started looking at their profiles. I graduated with the majority of these ppl. HOLY FUCK WHO ARE THEY? I had no clue. Some came back to me in dreams I got from seeing their names on the screen. I actually remembered my first girlfriend. She looks great btw, 38 yr old goth freak lol. Priceless. Some of them started telling me things they remembered from school and I had no idea what any of them were talking about. I knew I lived in the smoking lounge during lunch and breaks but I don't remember who else was out there. They remembered giving me their change from lunch so I could eat because I was houseless in high school. I faintly remember that. One remembered watching me from a window as I washed a teachers Lincoln in the side yard of the school so I could get money to pay for smokes and food for the night. She even said that she liked that cause I was shirtless lol. I guess I was a strappin young lad in high school. One of them suggested an app on there that asks about memories from high school and that I should fill out the app and send it on around. Here's my quandry: I have none. I faintly remember small clips but no specifics of anything from high school. Coffee and donuts with the principal and the lunch ladies feeding me breakfast if I got to school early enough. I don't really remember much of anything from the kids. The things I do remember aren't very flattering to any of them but even those are faint recollections with no specifics. Plus I don't know how many, if any of them, are real memories. I had already had my cheese slip off its cracker at age 15 so I'm not sure what all was real and what was just the thoughts of a warped mind. I don't even remember the relationship or how it ended with my first girlfriend. WTF do I do? I tried explaining to them that my mind is toast and memories are scarce. They try to give me something to go on but to no avail. This is very disconcerting to not remember anything or anyone from high school. I remember some of the women I slept with for money on my weekends and times off of school but nothing really clear. I remember snippets of conversations. I feel like I've lost a considerable part of my life. Where oh where has my little youth gone?

If you could be any age again for one week, what age would you be?

Since my teenages wasn't a very nice time in my life, I dunno if I'd really want to go thru that again. As for age itself, I'd like to be 18 again. I spent my 18th year with a constant hardon thinking of nothin but good times. I think I'd like to visit that stamina and ability again. It wasn't a real fun time mentally for me but the body was awesome. I also seemed to have had way less inhibitions. I think it was due to the fact that I was in better shape (round is my shape now). I was actually able to sell myself bac then. Maybe not a nice profession but deffinately good for the ego of a young lad. Deb thinks she can't handle some of the things I do to her poor body now, lol, if I had that body bac, DAYUM she'd probably die from exhaustion or orgasm overdose. I was great in bed. I still am pretty good but the body don't work as well any more.

I was lookin at my facebook page this AM and saw a couple of comments to a comment I made on sumbody else's post. The question she asked was basically wat is your purpose and how do you think your life should go? I answered with the comment that life is wat you make it and that purpose is where you find it. Life is to be lived or no matter wat, you're dead already. I think them folks don't understand that I'm a pretty intelligent guy. I spend a lot of time joking and coming up with weird comments and posts to try and entertain them but I do hav a brain. I think sum of the deepest thoughts of anybody I kno. I philosophize all the time and try to wrap my mind around concepts that most ppl ignore just because they're too hard to grasp. Life is wat you make it but everything in your self colors how you make it wat you want. Your attitude this AM will determine how your day is going to go unless something great or catasrofic happens. Yesterday, for example, was not a very good day for me. My AM started with a bad night's sleep and being tired wen I woke up. I took one of my kids to work and wen I got home, my dog was in a full siezure. It lasted about 45 minutes. Bummed me out a bit because she keeps havin them and nobody can tell me y. Me and Deb had a lot of miscommunications and she ended up pissed at me almost all day for one reason or another. I bought a scratch off because I'm tryin to win anything to help me fix my van. i kno it's a long shot but I'm not makin money any other way. Things keep messin up on my van and it's gonna finally cost me about $1000 to get it totally fixed. I've NEVER won anything on a scratchoff but I kno and see a lot of ppl, including Deb, win plenty of money on them. I kno it looks like I'm wasting wat lil money I do hav but wen all you hav is $2 it might as well be a penny wen you actually need $1000. I bought another today and as usual I lost $2. A friend of mine just got a windfall and I hav had his son in my care for the past 4 yrs. I've never asked him for a dime for caring for his son but I think it would be a nice thing to help me out in my time of severe need. It's his son that I take to work every day and take 20 miles to see his girlfriend every weekend. I'm not complaining but I could use sum help but I really don't think it'll happen. The boy in question is due to get about $1700 from his dad's social security but if I don't catch the check, and probably even if I do, I doubt I'll see a dime of it to help out around here. The check is sposed to be for a time about a year ago that he was living with me and I was paying for everything he did and needed and wanted. I don't think it's unreasonable to feel that I'm owed something for compensation in order to fill the bills that even today he incurres. Yes he has a job and he gives us $200 a mnth if he remembers and doesn't spend it all before he gets home after cashing his check. Yes he has dun that several times. H seems to think that living is free in this world and that because I took him in he can just fly by on blowing his money on game systems and games for them and decorations for him and my son's room. This has been a joy but I'm gettin tired. I'm also bitchin too much. I'ma go bac to bed. Take care folks.